Positive Intent: Everyone is Always Doing Their Best
SCIENCE OF SUCCESS
POSITIVE INTENT | EVERYONE IS DOING THEIR BEST
“Everyone is always doing their best. . .”
“There is no failure, only feedback. . .”
Let’s talk about intent. The two above phrases are fundamental to practicing NLP. They, along with a few others, are considered fundamental Meta Model Presuppositions necessary to practice effective Neuro-Linguistic Programming.
In other words, a practitioner, whether they are just a Life Coach like myself or a mental health care professional like those I train, they must accept those two fundamental principles in order to properly assess the emotional and mental states of others and in order to remain open and resourceful.
Rejecting the Presupposition
It was a beautiful and calm summer evening in Broken Arrow Oklahoma. It was a little chilly so I offered my jacket to one of the attendees. This evening only 3 people showed up to my free workshop, and the first concept I tried to teach on this particular evening struck a nerve with the attendee who borrowed my jacket.
As mentioned above, one of the first presuppositions of NLP is that every single person is always doing their best. In fact, if you are observing the behavior of another, it is imperative to keep in mind that if you had their
- history, &/or
you yourself would behave identically to anyone who has ever wronged you or behaved in a manner that you find disturbing or even slightly negative.
This first presupposition was where everything went sideways.
“Everyone is always doing their best…”
No matter how I tried to teach or rationalize this concept, this one poor attendee would not, COULD NOT, accept that everyone is always doing their best.
In the mind of this attendee, the person who had hurt her, was evil and meant to cause real harm and she refused to see it any other way, and maybe she’s right.
That’s right, she may have been one of the few people in this world who actually might have been involved with a psychopath, sociopath, or narcissist. Most people do not fall into any of these categories, these terms get thrown around casually, but it is not all that likely that most people do actually get too close to someone who is socially dysfunctional and even if you do have the unlucky misfortune of getting involved with one, it will STILL be in your best interest to realize that even they are doing their best.
How does this Presupposition serve us in a positive way?
By adopting the mentality that all others are, like ourselves, acting according to the best information, emotional intelligence, knowledge, beliefs, and genetic makeup available to them, it will help you analyze and assess the mental meta models that the person is using and demonstrating from an objective, unemotional, and rational position rather than thinking how YOU would have behaved reserving and mitigating judgement which can cloud our resourcefulness.
Intention > Outcome
“There is no failure, only feedback.“
Everyone is always trying to obtain the best possible outcomes, but chances are, they have shitty models in place. So, what is going to happen most often? Failure.
We learned this concept from reading that crappy book Rich Dad, Poor Dad, by Robert Kiyosaki or so I have heard. I don’t really read self-help books, but apparently, no matter how smart or talented you are, if you had a poor dad, you are probably poor, and if you had a rich dad, you can be a real dummy and still seem to come out on top money wise.
Why? This is explained by understanding “modeling and mirroring” which is what humans do to learn any new skill or behavior. Mirror neurons are the driving force behind our understanding of how humans adopt behaviors, we do so mostly unconsciously by observing the behavior of another primate. Focusing on the outcome we want can help us create new behaviors by activating our mirror neurons through visualizing the outcomes we do want and how they will look, feel, and sound.
If there is no failure, only feedback, we can accept that an outcome was not ideal without also feeling guilty for a negative outcome. There is no failure, this is merely feedback that this method is not optimal. If everyone is always doing their best and their intention is more important than the outcome than we can forgive those who have hurt us and we can forgive ourselves for unintentionally hurting others due to our choices and behaviors.
Presuppositions are the driving factors behind our behaviors, beliefs, and knowledge; by adopting the 2 primary presuppositions of NLP, we can begin to rationalize and compartmentalize behaviors which used to cause us real anxiety or emotional discomfort.
By accepting this powerful MindShift Strategy, you can gain emotional intelligence, help others, and Be Your Own Hero.
JAMES PESCH WELCOMES YOU BACK!
KEYNOTE SPEAKER | BUSINESS COACH | CORPORATE TRAINER | SALES TRAINER | HUMAN PERSUASION EXPERT | LINGUIST | NEUROLINGUISTIC PROGRAMMER (NLP) EXPERT | HUMAN BEHAVIOR EXPERT | TUTOR | LIFE COACH | DECEPTION DETECTION TRAINER | HR & PERSONNEL COMMUNICATION ANALYST | TULSA BUSINESS CONSULTANT | TULSA BUSINESS MASTERY EXPERT | TULSA’S MOST ENTERTAINING SPEAKER | EDUCATIONAL INSTRUCTOR | TULSA BUSINESS COACH | EXECUTIVE CONSULTANT | BODY LANGUAGE, POSTURE, & MICROEXPRESSION COACH
James is a Human Behavioral Specialist living in Tulsa, who is skilled in Linguistics, NLP, Mentalism, & Counseling, creating content so YOU WILL “Be your own HERO.” -James Pesch
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