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NLP PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT GROWTH Mirroring Matching

Mirroring & Matching

SCIENCE OF SUCCESS

MIRRORING & MATCHING

WHAT IS MIRRORING/MATCHING?

We all do it. Mirroring body language is what happens naturally as people bond and develop mutual understanding without even being aware of it. The forms of instinctive Mirroring we are most familiar with are

Yawning & Smiling.

When you see someone yawn, or even if you just read the word “yawn”, you are likely to yawn immediately, or during next 30 seconds. Smiling is also pretty contagious – seeing a genuine smile makes you want to smile too, and as a result you will feel more positive, even if you were not feeling particularly happy in the beginning. For this reason, many Psychologists, “Psychics,” & Mentalists know that this behavior of Mirroring, typically the result of empathy, can also be used as a powerful tool to initiate rapport and cause others to feel drawn to us rapidly.

According to research, there is a neuron called a Mirror Neuron that affects part of the brain that is responsible for recognition of faces and facial expressions. This neuron causes the ‘mirroring’ reaction when you see smiling or frowning faces. In other words, it causes you to copy facial expressions that you see on others.

Mirroring body language is a non-verbal way to say

“I am like you, I feel the same.”

The synchronicity of the crowd at a rock concert, football game, or church service gives a secure feeling of belonging to each and every participant. The research shows that people who experience the same emotions are likely to experience mutual trust, connection and understanding. They will also begin to match facial expressions and body language. In other words, they will subconsciously mirror each others physiology, breathing, mannerisms, tone, pitch, cadence, etc.

Some people report that when the vibes are right around a particular person, they begin mirroring and exhibiting synchronicity that they are not consciously aware of in the moment.

It is worth it to mention that if you intentionally assume a certain body position that is characteristic to a certain emotional state, you will start to experience the feelings connected with this state. A good example of this is feeling happy after forcing one’s self to smile. Also, if you assume a body language position that displays confidence, you will start feeling confident, even if you didn’t feel so initially.

MIMICRY, MIRRORING, & MATCHING

MIMICRY

the act of imitating someone or something, typically in order to entertain or ridicule. Mimicry is insulting, Mirroring, if not skillfully executed, can appear insincere and too much like mimicry; a combination of Mirroring & Matching is the goal, but first we must learn what it FEELS like to be in rapport.

MIRRORING

The behavior or skill in which one person subconsciously (or intentionally) parallels the physiology, gesture, speech pattern, body language, breathing, or attitude of another. Mirroring often occurs naturally (without any single observer involved knowingly participating) in social situations, particularly in the company of close friends or family.

MATCHING

The behavior or skill in which one person subconsciously (or intentionally) acts similarly, but not identically to another. This happens naturally in social situations

For an excellent example of Mirroring with the intent of Social Compliance, watch this 5 min FREE YouTube Video by Illusionist & Mentalist Derren Brown.

WHY DO IT?

Most people feel like they do not have any or very little control concerning social situations. As a species, it serves in our best interest to be well liked by those we want to be like and this is what causes us to make a huge mistake. The sin of NOT being mentally intentional concerning our emotional and mental states can result in confusion, self doubt, and insecurity.

By developing our Emotional Intelligence, and by intentionally setting our mental and emotional states, we can begin to develop skills in the areas of Mirroring & Matching with the intent of Influencing others. The powerful impact that this skill, when used artfully, has on others is so amazing that many observers say it seems like magic.

If you desire to have more successful outcomes in social situations such as Networking, Dating, Public Speaking, or Meeting new people, then you should use the skill of Mirroring and Matching in order to develop Rapid and Powerful rapport and empathy with others.

HOW DO YOU DO IT?

Below, is the 4 Step Model I follow when Mirroring & Matching others. I used this outline to teach a FREE Emotional Intelligence Seminar at Hardesty Public Library on September 1st, 2018 &  I have included the link below. Please enjoy this Powerful 60 minute Workshop that I created to enable you and empower others just like you to Be Your Own Hero.

  1. Preframe Outcomes – Determine Ethical & Authentic Applications
  2. Develop Sensory Acuity/Emotional Intelligence – Learning to Read Micro-Expressions
  3. Study Your Subject – Noting Language Patterns, Body Language, Attitude, (+/-) etc. . .
  4. Mirror & Match
    1. Language – Words, Gestures, & Movements
    2. Tonality – Intensity
    3. Pitch – Higher vs Lower Waves
    4. Cadence – Speed
    5. Timbre – Quality
    6. Posture – How the Body Positions
    7. Breathing: Pace, Location, Intensity
    8. Micro-Expressions – Eyebrows, Mouth, Eyes, & Unconscious “Tales”
    9. Personal Space – Distance between as dictated by physiology
    10. Physiology – The mannerisms associated with Emotional States
    11. Emotional State – A Meta Model of Reality
    12. *Cultural Generalizations, Assumptions, & Biases

*When we Mirror & Match someone elses Cultural or Regional Generalizations, we do not adopt their mindset; we EMBRACE their mindset and align with it in order to fully understand the subject. In no way should you violate your own morality or ethical codes in order to develop rapport as this will be a violation of your internal meta model of who you are.

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